May 7, 2007

Monkey Inherits, Monkey Adopted

A woman from the UK has filed court action in Austria to become the legal guardian of a chimpanzee. Really.

Paula Stibbe has been Matthew the chimp’s keeper for nine years. She filed the action to help the chimp keep £3,400 (about $6,775US) he inherited. The money was meant as a stipend to protect the chimp’s future when the animal home he lived in south of Vienna went bankrupt.

Stibbe, who has the backing of Britain’s foremost primate expert Jane Goodall, hopes that by adopting Matthew, she’ll be able to protect his rights. “Matthew likes watching TV and playing games like any child, and can use signs and gestures to say what he wants. Of course, he has the right to be recognized as an individual.”

Stibbe and her lawyers believe the chimp is entitled to the same rights as a child, and given the circumstances a guardian should be empowered to help him spend the gift.

“When we filed the case, we did not tell the court Matthew was a chimpanzee,” explained Dr Martin Balluch, an animal rights campaigner. “That way, when the court accepted the case, it was only after we had a case number to work with that we revealed he is a chimpanzee.”

Matthew was seized by customs officers several years ago when he and another chimp were imported to the country by a pharmaceutical firm doing HIV research.

Wal-Mart Thieves Wear Signs as Warning

An Alabama judge offered two people accused of shoplifting from their local Wal-Mart Supercenter an option: stand outside wearing a sign with the words “I am a thief - I stole from Wal-Mart” or go to jail.

Judge Kenneth Robertson Jr of Attalla City ordered the pair to wear their signs for four hours each on successive Saturdays. One of the accused, Lisa King Fithian wore the sign from 11am to 3pm despite protesting her innocence. Fithian claimed she was taking the item, worth just $7, to the service desk because it couldn’t be scanned at the register.

While serving her time wearing an “I stole from Wal-Mart” sandwich board, Fithian said that people who passed by commented the punishment was cruel. However, Neil Hawkins manager of the Attalla Wal-Mart, said, “The only comments we’ve heart so far have been positive. Most of them thought it was a good thing.”

Hawkins went on to comment about how embarrassing it must be for the public to see someone who got caught shoplifting, “Maybe they’ll think twice about doing it.”